Tuesday, January 23, 2018

#TwelveTravelQuestions: Visiting Me in Oz

I seriously have a lot of stuff to do before anyone comes and finds me in Oz. First I have to check in with the US Marshall Service and see if its okay because you know I gotta go into Witness Protection mode the weekend someone comes and says "Hi".
After I made sure that someone is coming to visit me, I gotta know why?
There is 3 Film Festivals happening, about 4 premier Wine Events, and then there is Silicon Valley Comic Con and of course me.

Let's go thru what visiting me entails with the 12 Questions :

  1. What Airport will you be flying into ? There are actually six airports you can fly into from San Francisco International to Monterey Regional Airport to Napa County Airport. If you are starting your trip with a film festival come in to San Jose International though you may find a cheaper ticket flying into Oakland International or hop on the wings of a butterfly. 
  2. Where will you stay? Most likely a hotel because as much as I adore the whole "come bunk with me vibe" I need my personal space and that means you fart alot in your sleep. That said you have to book your hotel at least 4 to 6 months in advance of your actual visit. I have some quick recommendations but you being fancy staying at Hotel Valencia or Fairmont is just par for the course. 
  3. Will you need to rent a car? Honestly, since I do utilize public transit so much I actually hate explaining it to people and I am serious I can not get it thru everyone head the light rail isn't the same as the train there is a difference. So yes, I will either rent a car or you will because
    explaining the 85/87 interchange is just as annoying and that way I can show you. Now the caveat being you are going to be over a mile walking distance to said destination. If you are staying downtown San Jose for Cinequest you will not need a car, but if you are looking to go wine tasting in Paso Robles before the SLO International Film Festival then you will need a car. 
  4. How much clothes do I need to bring? I would ask are you going to an award show? Honestly, unless you are eating at the French Laundry or hosting a Democrat for dinner keep it comfortable because yes, we wear spanx here, but we also like a well suited tshirt and jeans combo. If it is during Fire Season please bring a fire extinguisher or purchase one while you are here. 
  5. Is there a time difference? Yes, the plane of existence of my domain there is a morning, noon and night; one is light and one is dark. Bring sunglasses. 
  6. I have a special diet, will I need to bring my own food? Hardy har har ...everyone in Oz has a specialized diet puhlesse put your Soylent and Juicero bags away.
  7. I want to experience the weirdest thing possible? Again with the jokes you have to first get out of the airport driveway which if you are in SJC you will literally tour the parking structure twice and if you are in SFO you will end up in San Bruno on the El Camino not knowing where North is. That will satisfy any need to experience weird stuff. 
  8. Can we go to the Aquarium? Which one there are approximately 5 in
    Oz alone and that is not including the "Big One" in Monterey plus you can always just take a boat ride with a glass bottom and have your fill of sea life. 
  9. Will I have enough time to see everything ? No, you like to sleep in and I know you know that it would take a whole month to see everything just in my parcel of OZ so just know you have an itinerary and I have an agenda these are two separate things you will also need to sleep. 
  10. I want to go to the Lick Observatory and The Mystery Spot on the same day, can we do it? Yes.
  11. How much money will I need to bring with me ? Gold Bullion works but there is not exchange rate for BitCoin, so if you want to bring back trinkets or souvenirs bring the credit card your rich uncle paid off for you. Drinks run about $8 food a mere $20 per person and Dessert is $13 each bite. I admit I might cook you dinner and that dinner will be Pizza Delivery. 
  12. Best Time to Visit? Normally, the temperature is 65 degrees with partly cloudy skies but due to Global Warming come visit now because in ten years California coastline will start to overtake the low areas and the bridges might as well be underwater. 

Thanks to Unsplash for the photos to exemplify a visit here in Oz and I do encourage travel even if I am being a sarconic twit 

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